The Rise of 'Situationships' in Canada — Trend or Myth?

Okay so I've been in like three situationships in the past five years, and honestly I didn't even know that's what they were called until my friend used the term over drinks one night and I was like "oh my god, THAT'S what that was?" So yeah, situationships are definitely a thing, they're everywhere, and also they're nothing new but we finally have a word for them. Which somehow makes them feel more real and more frustrating because now we can talk about them explicitly instead of just being confused about what's happening.

If you somehow haven't encountered this term yet, a situationship is basically when you're seeing someone regularly, you're intimate, you care about each other, but there's no official label or commitment. It's more than a hookup but less than a relationship. You're not just casual but you're also not boyfriend-girlfriend or whatever the appropriate term is. You exist in this ambiguous space where the rules aren't clear and neither person wants to be the first to ask "so what are we?" because that feels vulnerable and might ruin whatever this nice thing is.

And look, I know some people are like "just communicate! Just define it!" And okay yes, obviously communication is important and we should all be adults about this stuff. But situationships happen precisely because one or both people don't want to define it. There's comfort in the ambiguity, even when it's also kind of torturous. You get the benefits of companionship and intimacy without the pressure and expectations of an official relationship. And in Western Canada in 2026, that appeals to a lot of people for a lot of different reasons.

I've been thinking about why situationships seem so prevalent right now, especially out here. And I think it's a combination of economic factors, social shifts, technology, and just general modern uncertainty about what we want and how to get it. Like, my parents' generation seemed to have this clearer path – you date someone, you become boyfriend-girlfriend, you get engaged, you get married, you buy a house. There were steps and everyone knew what they were. But none of that feels realistic or even desirable to a lot of people now.

When I was in my first real situationship in Calgary back in 2020, I was fresh out of a long-term relationship and definitely not ready for anything serious. But I also didn't want to be alone, you know? I wanted connection and intimacy and someone to text at the end of the day. So I met this guy on Perb and we started hanging out, and it was nice. Really nice actually. We'd see each other a couple times a week, sleep over sometimes, grab dinner. But neither of us wanted to define it because I think we both knew it had an expiration date built in. I was probably going to move for work, he was focused on his career, we were both still figuring ourselves out.

And that situationship lasted like eight months, which is longer than some of my actual relationships. We cared about each other, we had fun together, we were exclusive even though we never officially said we were. But there was always this understanding that it wasn't going anywhere permanent, and honestly that worked for both of us at that point in our lives. When it ended it was sad but not devastating, because we'd never promised each other forever. We'd just enjoyed what we had while it made sense.

I think a lot of situationships form when people are in transition periods. You're new to a city, you're focused on your career, you're recovering from a breakup, you're not sure where you'll be in a year. Traditional relationships require a certain amount of future-planning and commitment, and if your life is uncertain, making those commitments feels premature or dishonest. But you still want human connection, so you end up in these undefined things that work in the present without demanding a future.

Vancouver especially seems to breed situationships because so many people there are transient. Like I was talking to my friend who lives in Kits and she said pretty much every dating situation she's been in for the past three years has been a situationship, because people are always leaving. They're here for a ski season, or a work contract, or they're figuring out if they want to stay long-term. Nobody wants to get serious when geographic permanence isn't guaranteed. So you have these intense connections that everyone knows are temporary, and instead of fighting that reality, you just accept it and enjoy what you have.

Calgary and Edmonton have their own version of this tied to the boom-bust economy. When oil prices are good and people are working insane hours and making good money, there's not a lot of space for traditional relationship building. But people still want connection, so you get situationships where you see each other when schedules allow, enjoy each other's company, but there's no expectation of prioritizing the relationship over work. And when the economy shifts and people lose jobs or have to move for work, these situationships dissolve pretty naturally because there was never a commitment keeping them together.

The prairies are interesting because I think situationships are maybe less common there just because the dating pool is smaller and social accountability is higher. Like in Saskatoon or Winnipeg, if you're seeing someone regularly, people are going to assume you're together pretty quickly. The ambiguity is harder to maintain when everyone's asking about your relationship status and you're running into mutual friends constantly. But they still happen, just maybe with more secrecy or more eventual pressure to define things.

One thing I've noticed about situationships is that they're often unequal in terms of what each person wants. Like in my second big situationship, I was way more invested than he was. I would've been happy to make it official, but he was clear he didn't want a relationship right then. And I stayed in it anyway because I liked him and I hoped he'd change his mind, but mostly because something felt better than nothing. That's the dangerous side of situationships – they can become these holding patterns where one person is settling for less than they want because the alternative is being alone.

And there's definitely a gendered dynamic sometimes where guys benefit more from situationships because they get companionship and sex without commitment, while women end up feeling used or strung along. I don't think it's always that simple, but I've definitely seen it play out that way enough times to recognize the pattern. The person with less investment has more power, and they can keep the situation ambiguous indefinitely if the other person doesn't push for definition.

But situationships can also be genuinely mutual and positive. My most recent situationship was actually really healthy because we were both on the same page. We liked each other, we had great chemistry, but we both had other priorities and neither of us wanted the obligations of a relationship. We were clear about what we could offer each other and what we couldn't, and it worked really well for the six months or so that it lasted. When it faded out it was because our lives went in different directions, not because of hurt feelings or unmet expectations.

I think the key difference between a good situationship and a bad one is honesty. If both people are genuinely okay with the ambiguity and lack of commitment, great. But if one person is secretly hoping it'll become more while the other is actively avoiding that, that's when situationships become painful and problematic. And unfortunately you often don't know which situation you're in until you're already emotionally invested.

The technology piece is huge too. Dating apps have made it so easy to meet people that there's always this sense that someone better might be out there. So even when you find someone you like and who you're compatible with, there's this hesitation to commit because what if you're settling? What if there's someone even better? So you end up in these situationships where you're together but also still kind of looking, just in case. It's the paradox of choice applied to dating, and it makes commitment feel scarier than it might have before we had endless options at our fingertips.

I also think situationships reflect changing ideas about what relationships should provide. Like my parents' generation seemed to expect their partner to be everything – romantic partner, best friend, financial partner, co-parent, social companion. That's a lot to ask of one person, and I think many people now are realizing they don't need or want all that from one relationship. So you might have a situationship that provides emotional support and physical intimacy, but you get other needs met through friends or solo activities or whatever. The relationship doesn't have to be everything, so the pressure to make it official decreases.

There's also something about modern uncertainty that makes commitment feel risky. Like between climate change and economic instability and job insecurity and political chaos and just general anxiety about the future, making a commitment to another person feels like yet another thing that could fall apart. So we hedge our bets with situationships that don't demand we promise anything we're not sure we can deliver. It's self-protective, even if it's also kind of sad.

I've had long conversations with friends about whether situationships are ultimately good or bad for us. And honestly I think the answer is it depends. For someone who's genuinely not ready for commitment but wants connection, a situationship can be perfect. It meets their needs without forcing them into something they're not prepared for. But for someone who actually wants a relationship but settles for a situationship hoping it'll evolve, they can be really destructive. You end up wasting time and emotional energy on something that was never going to become what you wanted.

The challenge is knowing which category you fall into, and being honest with yourself about it. I've definitely stayed in situationships longer than I should have because I was lying to myself about being okay with the ambiguity. Deep down I wanted more, but I convinced myself I was chill and modern and didn't need labels. And that cost me, both in terms of time and emotional wellbeing. I could've been out meeting people who actually wanted what I wanted, but instead I was stuck in this undefined thing that was never going to satisfy me.

So are situationships a trend or are they real and here to stay? I think they're real, they've always existed in some form, but the current economic and social conditions make them more common and more acceptable than they used to be. We have a word for them now, which legitimizes them in a way. And as long as people are uncertain about their futures, focused on careers, geographically mobile, and swimming in a sea of options via apps, situationships are going to keep happening.

But I also think we're starting to see some pushback. Like I know a lot of people who are tired of the ambiguity and are actively seeking clear commitment and traditional relationship structures. They're sick of situationships and the emotional labor they require and the uncertainty they create. So maybe there'll be a swing back toward defined relationships as people get burned out on the endless ambiguity of modern dating. Or maybe both will coexist and people will choose what works for them at different life stages.

For me personally, I'm at a point where I think I'm done with situationships. I've done them, I understand the appeal, but I'm ready for something more defined and committed. I want to know where I stand, to build something with someone rather than existing in perpetual uncertainty. But I also know that could change depending on my circumstances. If I move cities or my career gets demanding or I go through another breakup, I might find myself right back in situationship territory because that's what makes sense at that moment.

The thing about situationships is they're seductive in their ease. You get intimacy and companionship without the hard work of relationship maintenance and conflict resolution and compromise. But you also miss out on depth and security and that feeling of being chosen and committed to. It's a trade-off, and whether it's worth it depends entirely on where you are in life and what you need. There's no universal answer, just what works for you right now.

If you're in a situationship currently, my unsolicited advice is to be really honest with yourself about whether it's meeting your needs or if you're settling. And if you're settling, have the hard conversation about what you want, even if it means the situationship ends. Because you deserve to get what you're actually looking for, not just what's convenient or available. And if the situationship genuinely works for you, then cool, enjoy it for what it is without guilt or shame. Situationships aren't inherently bad, they're just one option among many in the complicated landscape of modern dating.